it happened. . . as I sat there at the table decorated with faux gifts, tinsel and candy, watching him stand with a good measure of patience mixed with the expected anticipation that comes for a child waiting to see Santa. He would occasionally glance around to make sure I was still where he left me, then smile and look expectantly up at his big sister, clap his hands, do a little bounce then shuffle his feet forward a foot or two as the line moved. Independent in so many ways, too many ways for me this night - Growing up.
it happens . . . every night he falls asleep and I watch as his expression relaxes and his body falls into the rhythm of sleep. all the passion and energy that sometimes make being his mom so challenging, succumbs to that quiet peace that sleep affords. But I know that beneath those closed lids are dreams filled with all the punch and ardor that fill his waking hours. His face loses a little more of that soft baby roundness and when he wakes up each morning I notice more and more straight and defined features of a growing boy. . . the baby is almost entirely gone.
it's happening . . . right in front of my nose, over every breakfast bowl and during every conversation, amidst every passing rite for one so young. Don't those seem to present themselves much earlier than you remember from your own childhood? I try to slow her down, but most often that fails and I find myself trying to harness and guide her steps on a path that will help her find a healthy independence grounded in kindness, fairness and love. Sometimes I fail and try too hard to impose me on her, but more often than not she is much too strong for that. she is smart, very smart. she is kind and thoughtful, but still very consumed by defining who she is, what she thinks and expressing how she feels. . . every moment of every waking hour. but the exhaustion I feel is only testament to her flourshing personality and destiny which is shaping itself with definitiveness every minute . . . the baby entirely gone, the young lady on the way.
Sometimes "their all grown up" manifests itself in such subtle, imperceptive ways. Other times it happens in big colorful moments that take your breath away. I guess it's my job to notice and cherish them all, hold them carefully in my heart and prepare myself for all the next time's they they happen!
Friday, December 3, 2010
it happened ....
Posted by shawna at 6:48 PM 4 comments
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The Most Boring Post EVER

Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Kid Pictures
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Posted by shawna at 8:40 PM 2 comments
Labels: alaina, damon, matt, my secret hobby, Valentine's Day
Saturday, December 19, 2009
In a Nutshell
We have been sick with flu, pnuemonia, and flu again . . . in a nutshell. Alaina says she found her flu bug in the toilet the next day!
We are well now - I hope . . . in a nutshell. Once Matthew started feeling better he decided it was too much of a good thing (feeling well that is) so decided to get up close and personal with the fireplace and cracked his front tooth. Luckily his tooth appears to be as stubborn as he, and is hanging in there for now.
And if you can imagine all the stuff that must fill in these gaps you will gather my nutshell is pretty big!
I really got tired of looking at my last post so had to put something else up here . . . in a nutshell.
Merry Christmas! I make no promises toward a renewed dedication of keeping this updated. Under promise over perform!

Posted by shawna at 8:54 AM 1 comments
Friday, October 2, 2009
First Day of School (A Whole Month LATER)
VERY READY.
VERY EXCITED.
And don't forget their 1st Day of School Breakfast Requests:
Green Eggs and Ham (sans the ham)
Purple Eggs and Ham (sans the ham and a little more grayish blue than purple)
Nothing like a good nutritious morning breakfast!

Posted by shawna at 12:51 PM 2 comments
Labels: alaina, Family Traditions, matt, school
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Taco Tuesday



Posted by shawna at 10:12 AM 2 comments
Labels: alaina, Family Traditions, matt
Monday, February 16, 2009
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Make a Smilebox scrapbook |
Ok so this didn't turn out exactly as I hoped. Has anybody else ever used smilebox? Is it worth the 5 bucks a month?
Still it was SUPER easy and well worth the 5 minutes it took me to plunk the pictures in!

Posted by shawna at 9:17 PM 1 comments
Labels: alaina, digital scrapbooking, smilebox
Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Thursday, October 9, 2008
A Chance of Lifetime. . . And I didn't take it! TWICE!!
Dare I ask for a third chance?
Posted by shawna at 10:02 PM 0 comments
Labels: alaina, damon, lessons not learned, matt
Camping 101
In August we went camping for the first time as a family. We had a beautiful view of a toll road behind us and the campground's trash dumpsters out the front door. But the dirt, the rocks and the stars were what mattered. Damon at little more than a month was a dream. . . went to sleep right on time, slept through the whole night nestled in blankets on the tent floor. Matthew, at almost three was, well EXCITED. After the novelty of flashlights, campfires, tents and sleeping bags wore off he finally nodded off to sleep as well. Alaina was intrigued by the short jaunt from the tent to the toilet, and insisted on traipsing out in her nightie, up the starlit road to the bathroom. Once that adventure was mastered she nodded off quickly. Mom and Dad slept comfortably on a inflation-challenged mattress. More like a night on the sea, what with every roll bringing a sudden and jarring change in altitude for us lighter bodies! But by morning we found ourselves firmly grounded, rocks embedded on our backsides to boot!
The morning after kids still excited, and actually getting along. Not that we were exactly roughing it in the wilderness, but I guess this sort of thing really does inspire bonding, no super glue involved! Since this trip I have at least 2 requests a week for another camping soiree soon!
Monday, September 1, 2008
A Few of My Favorite Things
Little Girls and Fairy Wings - I wish the magic of childhood found a more prominant place in my memory. That's what daughters are for I suppose. What would I do if I didn't have her to remind of the beauty and magic of Fairy Wings and other imaginary things. And is it blaspheme when your 4 year old questions God's wisdom in light of the fact that he clearly forgot to give us wings? How could He commit such an oversight?
Little Boys and Potty Training (esp when big sisters help) - I must say I am behind on this one. Hesitant because invariably whenever I sit down to nurse Damon, Matt has to go to the bathroom. . . and he won't do it without help. So it is either me stooping over the john with one clinging for dear life and food to the teet, while I make a rather comical attempt at teaching the other how to wrap up business and keep it where it needs to go. . .OR a 'big sister' trying to help him. Hmm. . . I struggle as grown woman, with many years of 'going to bathroom' experience, with how to teach a little boy to go. How is my 4 year old little girl who is just barely beginning to notice certain anatomical differences, supposed to do it? Well, as long as I don't have too many more of these experiences: and we don't miss the window of opportunity entirely, resulting in a grown man with no restroom skills I suppose I will chortle along with the rest of you, and enjoy the memories I am creating with my children. . . .
The sound of cicadas - When we first moved here oh. . . 11 years ago. . . I was rather frightened of these bugs. . . greatful I never actually saw them, only heard their zappy, electric, eery song. But the other night as Alaina and I went on a "dusk bike ride" as she calls them, I heard these grasshopper like bugs, zipping out there quirky yet unique cant, I finally became acquainted and rather enamored with them. Still glad I can't see them, still glad I don't know exactly how many it takes to reach the startling volume they get to, but no longer afraid of them, and more intrigued with their peerless voices. And now they will be associated with the quiet, and special 'dusk bike rides' that Alaina and I enjoy on occasion, part of a sweet memory now.
Twilight Bike Rides - see above and read on. . . it must be a combination of the simple and the profound changes I witness when I walk behind her, straining to hear what she is babbling about up ahead of me, so when she pauses, I will have the proper response awaiting. The sun setting, making the mountains to the east a husky purple, the sky above a calming splash of warm pastel blues, pinks, yellows and reds. Alaina's own red hair, both infused with more fire and cooled by the twilight around her. The way she sits more confident atop the pink and white seat, the way she pedals slightly faster and stronger than the last trip down the road. Both moving further away from me and yet closer too, as she grows more confident in herself, and I witness the little woman she is becoming. This is one of my favorite things.
Posted by shawna at 11:32 PM 1 comments
Labels: alaina, matt, potty training
Say Uncle!
Alaina decided she didn't want me as her mommy anymore.
Alaina: "I want a different mommy."
Wicked Witch (me): "Well you only get one mommy, sorry but you can't trade me for a new one."
Alaina: "Well then I am not going to call you mommy anymore. I'll call you another name. I'll call you Uncle"
Ooohh. How nasty is that? (Chuckle chuckle:))
Posted by shawna at 11:25 PM 1 comments
Labels: alaina
Thursday, July 24, 2008
2 Months Old
So while I have been finding time to gripe about life. . . my life has been growing up faster than I thought possible, and ever wanted. Damon is already 2 months old! Smiling and talking so much sooner than I remember the other two reaching those mile-stones. I have tried to make sure that the moments when the smiles come and the sweet baby talk gurgles from his round little face are the moments I take to slow down and listen. I want them to be the moments I use to look in his sweet blue eyes and tell him I love him. This moment will only last a flicker of an eye lash and then the world that seems to have slowed down for a millisecond will jump back into full speed, with a forward moving momentum, much to brisk for my liking.
Alaina seems to know that fleeting is the time she has with a little brother who won't try to take over her room, steal her toys, or antagonize her for the sheer enjoyment of it all. She is a gentle and loving big sister. Damon is lucky to have her. She definitely has a maternal instinct. She has already told me that she wants to grow up to be a mommy like me, to work for Pappa like I do, and when she gets married she is going to live in the same house as me! Well I guess we'll take the good with the bad. I tell her she will change her mind about some of that, but she disagrees. But then again, when doesn't she disagree with me, and all the while she wears that sweet grin on her face. She really is getting much to skilled in the debate and negotiating forums. But no debate about it, she loves her "beautiful Damon!"
Matthew is still busier than a bee on a pollen buzz! But he finds an ocassional moment to kick it with his little bro. Tonight they tried to settle down for a private screening of "Cars" courtesy of Matt Riddle Theaters, complete with a cushy perch to view the rip roarin' movie on Matt's "Cars" bed. Damon lost interest quickly, but not before I could snap a pic of the two of them just bein' boys. Sure there are lots more nights like this to come!
He can't seem to get enough of the pool. Loves to chase the girls around the perimeter with the hose. Squeals of laughter are his end goal!! His favorite is to jump on the tramp with the girls and the hose. . . what a BOY!
Alaina, well cute as she might be, she is always always up to something. Formulating some new system of logic to convince me that she is older than 4 1/2 and that she knows better than me. Scary thing is. . . she is very persuasive!
Posted by shawna at 10:58 PM 1 comments