Sink or Swim

My little girl has learned to swim! Without bright orange floaties around her arms, or big purple noodles keeping her afloat. She puts her head down, kicks her feet with a fury and has a stroke somewhat reminiscent of a windmill. I know she probably thinks that her mom is a little overly-excited, what with all the exuberant clapping and boisterous congratulations when she has reached me on the other side of the pool after a fearless jump off the side and a determined traverse of the water between us. But I can't help but be proud. At the beginning of the summer she wouldn't even lay down in the bathtub. She slowly gained some confidence and decided that the shallow waters of the spa were safe enough. But she never left the first two steps. Then before either of us knew what was happening she was jumping from side to side after an almost ritualistic chant, "You will catch me? I won't fall? I won't go under?" Then even when I accidently didn't catch her, and her bright red head dipped below the surface for a split second, she came up sputtering, and ready to try again. Sometimes after a day in the pool with some of her older friends and aunts she would venture out into the water, holding onto the life jacket strap, kicking furiously beneath the surface of the water, chin high in the sky, with as large a smile as she could muster without swallowing a draught of water. Then one day, it was head down, feet kicking and arms cutting through the blue that separated her from me. NO looking back, eyes forward, determined, confident and accomplished. I can almost see glinting in her deep blue eyes a challenge to anyone, "Give me what you got? You think you can stop me? I know what I can do. Do you?"

Quite a different reflection than what used to be found there. When she was a bit younger, I remember looking into those now fiery eyes, and thinking I saw a look of hesitation, of question, of the kind of doubt a child has that only dissipates as they realize for themselves that more is within their reach and their ability than they thought. And while most of the time that is what reflects back at me, a little bit has gone away. Bittersweet, but more sweet than bitter.

I know this will be the first of liberating accomplishments she will experience, and definitely not the last. I hope that many more come, unlocking doors of opportunity, self-worth and confidence. And I hope that I will always be there, cheering her on, bonding over those moments of discovery.

Sink or swim? SWIM! For Alaina there is no other option.